God "metes out" our hardships with tenderness. I loved that word "mete"(and I did have to look it up to make sure it meant what I guessed it meant.... a measuring out). How God is careful with measuring out our afflictions, hardships and pain. They are part of His journey of intimacy with Him.
The measuring out of stuff that seems icky but is really for our good was immediately paralleled with me giving Drew medicine for his cold today. I did take 6 other photos to get that way cute one. :)
So what did God mete out for me today? I really got my feelings hurt. One of those times when after it happened and I was by myself, I even had a good cry over it. Getting your feelings hurt is not fun at all, and it doesn't happen to me very often but it all comes back to pride -my own pride. It is still way too important "what others think of me" than it should be. I want to feel "justified" in what I did and said but the opposite happened. I think of myself as a strong person, but what happened today, and a couple of other disappointments I found out about this evening, really put me over the edge. Mostly I feel like a failure.
The song that comes to my mind by Twila Paris:
Lately I've been winning battles left and right
and even winners can get wounded in the fight
people say that I'm amazing strong beyond my years
but they don't see inside of me -I'm hiding all the tears
They don't know that I go running home when I fall down
They don't know who picks me up when no one is around
I drop my sword and cry for just a while
'cuz deep inside this armor
This Warrior is a Child
Today is one of the times when, what I know in my head to be true, does not match my feelings. I have to stand on the fact that Truth and God do not change no matter what I feel like or what I think to be true. To think about God measuring out what He knew I would get as information into my brain today does soften the blow a bit.
It still tastes yucky.
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