Will says to me tonight as we headed up to bed.... "mom are you frustrated?" I said something about how yes I was because of some silly reason. His response -not mad or any other emotion, just matter a fact - "you're always frustrated". Boy if that doesn't just put me in my place. Obviously I know in my head, that I am in fact not always frustrated, but clearly more than his little mind wanted. Parenting is so hard.
Today's devo said..... Trust Me more...... don't waste energy regretting the way things are or thinking about what might have been. Start at the present moment -accepting things exactly as they are- and search for My Way in the midst of those circumstances.
I came across this prayer tonight -it said exactly my worry, and put into words what I needed. A pretty good "My Way" for the circumstances of Will and I as well as parenting as a whole.
"Lord, You know my inadequacies. You know my weaknesses, not only in parenting, but in every area of my life. I'm doing the best I can to raise my kids properly, but it may not be good enough. As You provided the fish and the loaves to feed the five thousand hungry people, now take my meager effort and use it to bless my family. Make up for the things I do wrong. Satisfy the needs that I have not met. Compensate for my blunders and mistakes. Wrap Your great arms around my children, and draw them close to You. And be there when they stand at the great crossroads between right and wrong. All I can give them is my best, and I will continue to do that. I submit them to You now and rededicate myself to the task You have placed before me. The outcome rests securely in Your hands. " (from The New Strong-Willed Child)
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