Ash Wednesday

My devotional said "Rest in My Radiant Presence.  The world around you seems to spin faster and faster, till everything is a blur.  Yet there is a cushion of calm at the center of your life, where you live in union with Me.  Return to this as often as you can to be energized and filled with Love, Joy and Peace."

I sat down this evening after my life had been in a serious blur for the day and this drawing of Will's is what my eyes landed on.  I felt just like that craziness with life's chaos and spinning.  I was very thankful for God's "cushion of calm" today.

I have been accused of seeming like I have it all together.   Here is a day to prove that falsehood.

Today being Ash Wednesday and the fist day of Lent, one aspect of my 40 days is that I am going to not be on the computer or the phone when the boys arrive home and that I will have a snack already decided upon and waiting for them when they walk through the door.  I was careful to be ready for them before the chaos and blur of Ted being at Freshman orientation for the night, 2 Basketball games, a Pot Luck at church and the drop off and then the pick up of 2 other kids for later that evening.

Today was Day 1 and I wanted it to be great.  I'll tell you Satan had other plans.  The first minutes went well, but not 10 minutes later Zach and I were hurling mean statements at each other.  Zach was crying and I was so mad when I walked out the door to pick up Drew, that had my purse not gotten caught, I'd have slammed the door.... (I will say that I even though it did go through my mind, I did not re-slam the door for effect).  Things were leaving my mouth that even as I was saying them I could hear my mind telling me "stop stop stop!  what are you doing?! don't say that! you can't take these things back!"  What was supposed to be for the glory of God, I turned into "all about me" and got so mad that any glory was snuffed out by the clear darkness.   I really botched up the opportunity to rebuke Satan and start our conversation over to create a great Teachable Moment.

God, however, was able to turn it around for His good.  While I drove and ran one errand, I had "gone to God's Radiant Presence and His cushion of calm" to be refilled and was able to go back to the house with forgiveness in mind for the boys.  When I arrived home I "caught" Will in what I thought was some new thing to be angry about.  I asked him what he was doing and I hear Zach in the kitchen whisper "tell her the truth".  The two of them had cleaned the house while I was gone.