Spur of the moment, I took the boys and the neighbor Cal, to the skate park today. I love this shot of Zach. He just seems old. He spent a lot of time trying to master a smaller half pipe before he dared to try the larger one. At the very end, he got on top to do the larger one, but ended up deciding not to try it this trip.
While all the boys played and did all kinds of dangerous things, I really thought about my devotional. It talked about how I need to entrust even my Loved Ones to God. Not trusting God to take better care of my kids or Ted than I could sounds crazy. How could I possibly think for one second that I could do a better job of protection than God can. I mean He is GOD and all.
But actually carrying that out proves a lot more difficult.
With Zach I worry and have fear creep up when I think about him in trying to fit in and find himself and be happy in that big scary high school. And the even closer decision we have to make about sending him to the middle school or not. Then when I think about him starting to like girls and date.....fear again! Will he make the right choices, will he enjoy his childhood, will he get made fun of, will he make the wrong friends, will he start making terrible choices?.......ARRRRG.
My job is to make sure I trust God more than I trust my own self and what I think might be best for Zach. Releasing Zach into God's hands means I have to let go and love God more than Zach. REALLY trusting God means I don't worry or have fear of the future. To know and trust that my God is bigger than that.
Just like learning to ride down that half pipe takes a lot of time and practice, though, I'm VERY glad learning to let go of Zach will be over time and God will let me have lots of practice on smaller things before I move to the big things. Thank You God!
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